Halloween is a big issue for parents trying to keep their kids on a health diet. I don't want to deprive my child of the joys of trick-or-treating, even if he's still too young to grasp subtle nuances of when it's appropriate to toilet paper someone's house, but the last thing I want a two year old to have is a bag full of processed sugar.
I've heard other parents talk about doling it out slowly over weeks, or trading them somewhat better snacks for their candy bars, or even just giving it all away to charities, but none of those options sounded appealing. I gave it some thought and came upon the perfect solution.
One of the biggest debates of our generation is who is cooler, pirates or ninjas. Now obviously, ninjas are far superior but how to convince my heir that the life of a pirate is not for him? So, while we're trick-or-treating, I'm going to hire someone to dress as a pirate and leap out of the bushes every time a homeowner starts to hand The Boy a piece of candy. He'll yell, "Ar, I be takin' that booty!" Then he'll snatch the snack and dash off. I'll shake my head sadly, console my crying and hysterical toddler, and say "you wouldn't catch a ninja doing something like that." We'll go home where someone dressed as a ninja will appear out of a puff of smoke and give him a bag of raisins and rice cakes.
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4 comments:
Hey.. what's wrong with pirates? Come to Westford and you will see the cutest pirate ever. She gives hugs too. And will eat your candy for you if need be. Or while you're not watching.
You can check her picture on the blog if her mom EVER updates it.
Sorry, but a baby ninja could kick her ass.
I bet Pirate Lauren would be happy to sign up for the candy stealing job. Of course, then that would just be more candy for me to use to fatten Josh's coworkers.
You just want to save yourself the inevitable sticky hands and traditional post-Halloween candy gorge vomiting, don't you?
That said, your plans has merits...
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