Mama on the brain

It's one thing to refer to your wife as "Mama" when around the kid, but you know it's bad when you start using the word to refer to her in your own head. Or even worse, to other people.

Ninja Dad

We've moved into a new place, one with actual storage space and a significant lack of cigarette stench. But the best thing about it is the absence of squeaking floors. In the old place, you couldn't even think about going upstairs without the boards squeaking like you were tap-dancing on mice.

In the new place, though, it's deathly silent. The first night there, sneaking upstairs without waking up The Boy or The Wife, was a snap. I ghosted though the rooms like a Ninja Dad, which is far fetched because we all know how hard it is for ninjas to procreate.

Out of the mouths of babes

The other day we were at a restaurant and Kristin left the table for a moment. When we saw her coming back I said, "here comes Mama" and Simon actually responded with "Mama."

Now, Simon's been saying "mama" and "dada" for over a year now, but they've really just been random noises that he's figured out how to produce. This was the first time he's actually said something on command, so I leaned forward and said, "now say Dada." He replied with "Dada."

Fearing it was just a fluke, I repeated the requests for Mama and Dada a few more times and he repeated them on cue. By the time Kristin sat back down at the table my face was three inches from Simon's and we were having a very involved discussion consisting of only two words.

I experimented with a few more words that I know he's familiar with but there's not much success yet. Kitty comes out as "tee" and doggy, lamp, and truck get the default response of "da." Other words, like "isosceles," get a blank look, almost as if he doesn't understand.

priorities

There are moments in your life when you realize with horror that you are growing up. For me, the first time was when I was a teenager and had an actual adult conversation with my mother. Another time was when I was happy to get socks for Christmas.

We recently moved to a new place, and usually for me the computer is the last thing to pack and the first thing to reassemble. This time, however, the poor computer had to wait in line behind the kitchen so I could make Simon oatmeal and yams, the washer and dryer so I could wash dirty diapers, and his toys so he could have something to play with. It's three days later and I'm finally getting around to plugging the computer in, after a full day of work, cleaning, and unpacking.

To make matters worse, instead of playing some World of Warcraft I'm wasting time writing a fathering blog!

Viva Las Vegas!

Vegas is all about food, shows, and hocking your wife's earrings for one more shot at the blackjack table. (Double down, baby!) Unfortunately, unless you can waste a thousand bucks on cab fare you're going to be doing a lot of walking.

Spending a few days traveling made me appreciate baby carriers all the more. While the other parents were wrestling with their strollers to get in and out of doorways, deal with escalators, or maneuver through crowds, Simon and I would just walk around free as you please. For quick trips we'd use the sling, for longer walks we'd use the mei tai, and both of these easily fit into our suitcase so we didn't have to worry about a stroller getting lost or damaged. Not to mention the fact that Simon was nice and high and got to see plenty of action (he's a big fan of trucks and buses nowadays) whereas all those poor kids in strollers just looked bored. I'm betting there'd be big business in Las Vegas (or any tourist town) for parents fed up with wheeling their child around.

Plus you're less likely to hock a sling for one more shot at the blackjack table.

A good idea down the toilet

Recently the little woman and I had to travel to Las Vegas for a few days. If it was a shorter trip or we had easy access to a washing machine we'd bring the cloth diapers along, but instead we thought we'd give gDiapers a try since we're supposed to be diaper experts and have never used them.

Now the theory is good; Make a diaper that is more convenient than cloth but not as environmentally unfriendly as disposables. There's a cover holding in an absorbent pad that dissolves in water. You rip the pad in half, dump it in the toilet, swish it around a bit to break it up, then flush.

Unfortunately it's somewhat lacking in execution, especially when bowel movements are involved. The flushable pad can't keep in the mess, so the covers get pretty gross. The pads also don't dissolve very quickly so you're stuck stirring a toilet full of poop forever. In theory you can simply throw the pad in the trash but there's no good way to bundle up the pad so, again, you're in trouble if the pad is particularly messy. I was only mildly annoyed with the system while we were in our hotel room, but dealing with a diaper change in the airport restroom was a nightmare.

Halfway through our stay I ran out and bought some disposables. Not my proudest moment, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Peer Pressure

One thing I'm finding harder and harder is to not compare Simon to other kids his own age. It seems like little punks two months younger than he is are reciting ballads and dancing on Broadway while my kid is still stuffing things up his nose and sitting in his own feces. I have to remind myself that these kinds of deadlines are completely arbitrary, and learning something early in life doesn't necessarily mean you're better at it.

The biggest concern for me right now is language development. Most kids Simon's age have a few words down but Simon shows no interest. He can say "mama" and "dada" but I think it's mostly at random. What kills me, though, is that he obviously is really good at understanding what you're saying. You can say "laundry" and he'll run over to the laundry room, or "upstairs" and he'll go to the stairs, or "punching bag" and he'll go over to the cat, but he shows no interest in trying to vocalize those sounds himself.

I've noticed in him an indifference in mimicking other people, which is unusual for a baby. He rarely makes noises when I do, and the only hand sign I've been able to teach him effectively is the one for a snack called Veggie Booty. (It shows a pirate on the bag, so I taught him to cover one eye with his hand like an eye patch.)

Anyway, I know I shouldn't be concerned. He's developing fine, and any skill that he was a bit behind in he mastered in record time when he finally figured it out. Plus there are plenty of kids I've seen who aren't as advanced as him, so at least he can feel superior to those losers.